Day 8: WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME?!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practise what I preach, or to not do the things that I suggest to others to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must emotionally manipulate people by reacting emotionally to someone not listening to me, in order to get them to listen to me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take myself seriously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people will listen to me based on the merit that my words stand on, based off them evaluating for themselves the value of applying what I am suggesting, then applying it, when I myself do not even do that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must raise my voice, or yell, or scream, or cry, or whine, or get angry, when someone is not listening to me, in order to get them to listen to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even listen to myself, literally, and figuratively, as applying the advice I give.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I talk more, the person is more likely to listen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated when someone is not listening to me, or not understanding what I am saying.

I forgive myself for all the times I got upset at someone for making me explain something that I think they should understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and get annoyed when I have to explain something to someone that I think they should understand.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I do not take my self seriously, and take my words seriously, then other people will not take me seriously, and will not take my words seriously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so obsessed and focused and fixated on trying to fix other people, and solve other people's problems, and fix other people's relationships, and get people in healthy, lasting relationships, completely denying myself of figuring out the solutions to my own problems, and getting myself into a healthy, lasting relationship, and fixing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use focusing on other people's problems as "I want to help other people" as an EXCUSE to excuse me from having to look at myself self-honestly and face and solve my own problems.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I was a kid, and people weren't responding to what I was saying, it was always because they couldn't hear me, and I had to speak up louder, it was sometimes because they were ignoring me because they didn't want to deal with what I had to say, whether they found it irrelevant, or unimportant, or silly, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to intentionally ignore a child as if to make that child feel as though I do not acknowledge that the child is there, is speaking to me, and that the child wants my attention, just as I way of doing to the child what others have done to me as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel significant and cool and valuable when a child wants my attention, and even more so when a child wants my attention and I do not give it to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people will listen to me without me having any results of being the living, walking example, of every word that I suggest to another to apply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself back from achieving anything in the real world by focusing in on other people's problems, framing it as if it is truly helping the world, if I could solve their problem, when it is not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for my own problems, and be open and honest about my current problems that I am facing so that I can forgive and overcome them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a problem with the word 'problem'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to and resist the word 'problem'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live so long with these big, massive problems in my life, and then point a finger to another and judge them and question them for not being able to change, or not focusing on themselves, or not thinking it's possible to change, or not figuring their shit out.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to figure my shit out.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be able to change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to sort myself out and solve my own problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't change, or that it's not possible to really change, or that some things, I just have to live with, when none of those things are true.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to focus on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see problems, and to see problems that I haven't yet changed, as big and massive, when they are not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone and procrastinate and delay so long looking at myself self-honestly, and really understand what I need to change, and how to do it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the only way real change happens is by being systematic about it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and understand and realize that I can only change if I want to change, and plug into a system of change, and that others can only change if they want to change, and plug into a system of change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I want others to listen to me, then I must have what they want.

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the truly best thing, that is best for all, that I could ever do for someone, is to figure my own shit out, to sort out and correct all my problems, and be the living, breathing example of what WORKS, so then people will ask me, or I can truly speak and show the way, from experience.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that someone not being able to hear me/listen to me is a vocabulary problem, and cannot be changed in a single conversation, one time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect more of/from other people, than I do of/from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and expect people to do things that I have never done myself.