I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, and realize that acknowledging that a business's sole purpose being to make money and the morality qualifiers are what causes one to fail in business does NOT mean that one must lie, cheat, and steal in my business in order to win, but what it DOES mean is that the fear of crossing the moral boundary, and the fear of doing something immoral and the fear of people perceiving me as immoral is what screws me over.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to clarify to myself what the difference is between honesty and self-honesty, where honesty is in the eyes of the system, which is inconsistent, as it says "never lie, cheat, or steal", yet the ones who lie, cheat, and steal, are rewarded with the best lives, which shows that it is clear that morality/honesty is used to manipulate the masses into never becoming and having and doing more with their lives, and self-honesty is being clear within oneself about what is best, and what needs to be done to bring about the best outcome.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, realize, and clarify within and to myself, that someone joining my business or buying my product IS BEST, in EVERY SINGLE SCENARIO, there is not a single scenario, not a single person who does not need my product, and who will receive a net loss after buying and using my product, and so, I should never be afraid of being perceived as immoral, of doing or saying something wrong, of crossing some moral boundary, as the only moral boundaries one should have is to do what is best, no matter what the circumstances, no matter who is or how many people are involved, and one should never cross that moral boundary and do something that is not best, which in this case would be not doing everything I can to stimulate someone to the point of either wanting to work with me, or buy my product.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not clarify to myself that joining my business or buying my product is the single greatest decision that any person can make.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take the time and focus necessary to understand and take apart my programming.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in order for someone to trust me and have confidence in me and certainty in me, I must trust myself and what I am sharing, and I must have confidence and certainty in myself, and what I am sharing.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, and realize that in order to have confidence, clarity, and certainty in myself and what I do, I must investigate the questions and doubts I have inside of myself first, then walk the practical points that I clarified in myself, out in the world, in the marketplace, where new questions and doubts may come up in and be presented to me, that I would then go home, investigate to a point of clarity, then go out, apply, and receive new questions, then go home, investigate, and clarify, until a point is reached where I am receiving no new questions or doubts that I have not yet considered to the point of clarity, and my confidence, clarity, and certainty in myself and what I do will be real, will be here, and will show and come across clearly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I only have to write about everything and take apart everything in myself, then it will be super easy to go out and act, and I will just always feel like going out and exposing myself to the world, not taking into account the reality of the habits I have created in reaction to rejection, and going out into the world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that writing and taking apart my fears, doubts, and reactions in myself won't make it any easier for me to go out and face the world, therefore I shouldn't waste my time doing it, which is just the opposite polarity of thinking it will solve everything, when really, it is half of the puzzle, but you still need the other half of the puzzle in order to be successful.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to acknowledge and realize how important it is to be going out into the world and applying what I have learned, and actually taking action and moving myself and applying myself, and being challenged and receive feedback, in order to progress at all in my life, which is the second half of the puzzle, and that taking apart my fears, doubts, and reactions, and doing writing and using the tools I have and writing out self-forgiveness is all to get me to the point of taking action and moving myself; the writing and the tools and self-forgiveness in themselves are not the solution, they are to get you to living the solution through action and inter-action out in the world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shield myself and hide myself away from the world and never truly share myself and share what I value and what I believe in and what I stand for and the thoughts that I have, because I have been afraid of being challenged, of getting my views and opinions shit on, because I have been afraid that people are going to reject me and reject my views, and reject my identity; they will reject who I am, and then I have no place to go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sure to never share all of myself with any one single person, and to never share all of myself with one group of friends, because I feared what would happen if they rejected who I am, along with all my faults and flaws and wrongdoings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the current views and opinions and perspectives and beliefs that I hold, and the thoughts that I have, is who I am, is my identity, when it is not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my fears, my feelings, my emotions, the reactions I have, are who I am, that they are my identity, when they are not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the backchat/internal conversations/mind chatter that I experience in my mind, and what I tell myself about myself as who I am and what I am and what I am capable of, is all true and factual and is who I am, and is my identity, when it is not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am condemned to never completely sharing myself with someone, as there is not a single human being on this planet that would ever accept the entirety of what I have done and the thoughts that I have and have had, and the fears I have and who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny, suppress and avoid my fears because I am afraid about being honest about how I feel and what I am afraid of.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be confused and unclear about when and where I must put on a brave face and lead and have no doubts and fears, and when I can be vulnerable and honest and express my doubts and fears.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create all of my relationships in my life based on having to deceive and maintain a brave face and be the perfect person or ideal person, when I had many opportunities to be my true self, but missed them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must always act as if I am the perfect and ideal person, with the perfect and ideal life, and that that is the only thing that people want to see, not realizing that the reason I will win in relationships, in life, and in politics, is because I will show the path to a new world based in honesty and truth, I will be the walking, living example of honesty and truth, and people will be drawn toward me due to my honesty and truth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must always put on the brave face for my parents, and even if I am not, I must fake and act and pretend as if I am the perfect child, the perfect student, the perfect person with the perfect life, to my parents, to my classmates, to my classmates' parents, to my teachers, to the staff members and the principal, to my cousins, to my aunties, to my uncles, to my grandparents, to my parents' friends, to my parent's coworkers, and to any other adults, even if those things were not true.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value other people's opinions of my life, rather than the actually quality of my life, based on my parents' beliefs and values.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be completely confused by my mom telling me things that are directly in conflict with what she would do, and never resolving or questioning those points. For example, her saying that she doesn't, and that I shouldn't care what people think, yet she would lose her mind about making sure the house was super clean before anyone saw it, would lose her mind over being late, would express disapproval of us being rude to another based on it just not being appropriate, among with many other situations where it was clear she didn't want people to think badly of her kids and how her kids were raised, or to think that we are messy people or lower class people or that we were outsiders.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out a pattern, in reaction to my mother and father trying to control my behaviours, of adopting the opposite behaviours that they wanted from me, in order to live the word rebellious, and to be a rebel.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the behaviours of keeping a messy room, leaving dishes in the sink, and not cleaning up after myself to spite my mother and father for ordering me to clean my room and wash the dishes and clean up after myself; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the behaviours of being lazy to spite my parents always wanting me to do stuff, and calling me lazy when I didn't do stuff, so I would just play that character to spite my parents; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the behaviours of staying out late and not communicating with them to spite them trying to control when I come home and what I do with my life; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the behaviours of staying up late to spite my parents trying to tell me to go to sleep and control when I am awake and when I sleep; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the behaviours of overindulging and playing excessive video games and watching excessive TV to spite my parents trying to tell me what to do and what I should do in my free time; I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the behaviours of not talking, and suppressing my expression, to spite my mother who always wished and hoped and dreamed that I would share more with her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that doing things to spite my parents would help me feel better about myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that doing the opposite of what my parents tell me to do to spite my parents would solve my problems, and all the things that were going on inside of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live most of my life in spite.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see where these behaviours came from, and why I still participated in them, in order for me to see that I can change them, and that I SHOULD change them.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, acknowledge, understand, and realize all the things that I have done and still do that started by me trying to spite my parents, and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, acknowledge, and realize that it no longer serves me to do things simply to spite my parents, and I can finally let go of the behaviours and habits I adopted in order to spite my parents.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, understand, and realize that my parents were just doing the best they could, and telling me what they could see would benefit my life, which a lot of the things they suggested would have benefited me, but they just did not know, as they never learned, how to communicate effectively with me, and with people in general.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, and realize, that all my confusion, sadness, fears, and worries, come from my parents and society, and that I must take them apart and understand them, in order to overcome them.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, and realize, that I am no longer that child who needs to spite his parents in order to be cool and be valuable and fit in, and that I am no longer that child who is afraid of fitting in, and that it is time for me to step into my own life, that is being lived for ME.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take the time and sit down and really consider who I am, and what I am doing, and why I am doing what I do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that being a rebel is cool, and that acting like a rebel and being rebellious was cool, so I would do those things that made me a rebel and proved that I was rebellious in order to be cool.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want so badly to be cool that I would do things and say things that were harmful to myself and harmful to others, just to be cool.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want so badly to fit in and not be a reject and an outsider, that I would do things and say things that were harmful to myself, and harmful to others, just to fit in, and not be an outcast.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want to be part of the in-crowd and always want to fit in, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always be afraid and fearful of not fitting in, of people realizing that I am not 'one of them', of getting rejected, of being an outcast, of being alone, and not having anyone I could call a friend, because I was afraid that people would think I am different, and in this, I have separated my true self so far from anyone so as to make sure that no one finds out who the real me is, that I never really felt like I had someone that I could call a friend, that I have always felt that I do not belong, that I do not fit in, that I am not part of the crew, or 'one of them'/'one of the boys'/'one of the girls'.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how our biggest fears manifest themselves in our lives, and how it was my fear of being alone that has left me feeling so alone my entire life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful and afraid of people thinking that I am different because I have a different skin color, because I have immigrant parents, because I am of a different religion, because my parents talk funny, because I act different, because I do different things than other people, because I have a different personality, not realizing that being different, was, and always has been, my ultimate strength, my secret weapon.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand that being different was the greatest thing I could ever ask for, and was what everybody loved about me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that adults are fundamentally different than kids, when they are not, they still play the same games, and feel the same ways.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall right into the game of elementary school, high school, and post-secondary school, rather than playing my own game, of being ME, which I know would have been more fun.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall right into playing the game of survival, and being an adult, and being part of society, and having to fit into a certain type of role and personality and certain limits of expression, rather than playing my own game, of being ME, which I know would be WAY MORE FUN.
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