Day 2: Comfort, Cults, and Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change due to fearing the change of my current relationships that I have with my family, my friends, strangers, women, men, soccer mates, time, scheduling, life, video games, sports, fitness, sleep, body, mind, free time, activity, leisure, clothing, money, earning money, spending money, housing, vehicles, things, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hold on to the comfort of the way things are more than I want the best life for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how me deciding to not change my life keeps this world in a state of fear and distrust and unhappiness, ensuring that lives are wasted and heaven is no where near Earth.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to step into and begin expressing my potential to a greater degree based on fear of judgment and fear of the unknown, of what my new relationship lines would look like.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to step into the driven individual that I want to be due to allowing fear to render me immobile.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being ostracized by my community when I will NOT be ostracized by my community and that is simply a mental projection of fear within my mind, and even if I DID get ostracized by my community, there is a thousand places I could move to in order to start a new life, and even if I got ostracized by the ENTIRE WORLD and I went to JAIL, then I would obviously use that time effectively, and when I come out, I would start a new life, and I would make it and be good, and even if I spent my whole life, my reputation forever tarnished, and never changed anything in this world and just died, the alternative life of just getting a job and wife and kids and continuing the cycles of abuse without question/solution is not life, and is not a life worth living; so I would rather try and fail (with the simple POSSIBILITY of succeeding and making this world a place where everybody wants to live), than never earnestly and sincerely try at all (with NO POSSIBILITY of succeeding and making this world a place where everybody wants to live).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be scared of showing people TechnoTutor because they would find out about GIN and Desteni, associate TechnoTutor with GIN and Desteni, and they would read an article on KT being a "scam artist" and would read an article of Desteni being branded as a "cult", assume that there is some evil plan going on to take control of them that they would lose themselves to, all of which would, in my mind, lead to my eventual demise, and I feel that postponing the growth of TechnoTutor is postponing my eventual death/ostracism/demise.
In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of losing everything through being called a "scam artist" and "cult leader" and people discovering some things that I say that are particularly challenging to the system and therefore rejecting me because they didn't like the challenging things, when these are all imaginations happening within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that that exact mind sequence, mentioned above, is exactly why everyone needs TechnoTutor, as we do not have the ability to reason effectively, and instead, just move in our minds, just move in fear, based off what someone told us, or something we read online.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a point to remain existing within me that TechnoTutor and GIN and Desteni are cults, and that I am just brainwashed by these cults and therefore what ever I say, do or share is invalid, because I am part of a cult.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to clarify what a cult is, and be clear on whether I am in a cult or not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to look up the definition for the word 'cult' and compare them against Desteni, and find out if Desteni is a cult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so manipulated by, and fearful of, the word 'cult' that I would not even investigate the word, I would not even investigate whether I am in a cult, I would not even consider whether or not I am in a 'cult' but instead go to war in my mind in defending the point, but also just being confused and scared to look at the word 'cult'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word 'cult' with images of satan-worshiping, demon-worshiping, cult leaders that look like the Sith Lord from Star Wars, weird rituals, blood, symbols, bloody writing, bloody symbols, bloody writings and symbols on the floor and on the walls and on the mirror, hell, jins, smeagol/Gollum, bats, witchcraft, sacrificing humans, sacrificing children, sacrificing animals, members being forced to have sex with one another, members being sexually abused and assaulted and raped by other members, by higher members, and by some cult leader, the cult leader raping the cult members, cult members being forced to have sex with children and animals, members being forced to do things that they do not want to do, hoods, robes, weird garbs, darkness, dark rooms, lairs, kissing, drugs, kool-aid, things to be ingested, people dying, and everything evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so manipulated by the word 'cult' that once I saw the word 'Desteni' associated with the word 'cult', I automatically disregarded anything that the word 'Desteni' represented, as well as anything that the word 'cult' represented, and instead just go directly into my mind with all the associations, relationships, imagery, symbolism, fear and emotions and take them as real and true, and instead of figuring out the verity or falsity of the association, I simply ran, and ran so far away as to put a halt to everything I was learning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so fearful of the word 'cult' that, in a moment, when I saw online the word 'Desteni' and 'cult' together, I automatically dismissed everything that I have learned from Desteni, and everything that I could see was true and real and valuable and making me more effective in life that wasn't based on any kind of belief, but based in reality and logic, I dismissed the people who I could see have clarity and certainty and are effective in this life, in business, in relationships, etc., and I allowed my mind to take complete control over me, and automatically assume that everything I learned was a lie, even if it was physically verifiable, and in that, I ran, destabilized, and stunted my process/growth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the first thing I see, without investigation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in everything that I see on the internet.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to cross-reference any information I receive, so that then I could stand firm, within what I know, rather than stand precariously, within what I think and believe and have been told once and have read somewhere once.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to understand and study the nature of the programming of the human, and to see/understand and realize the depth to which, and how a human is programmed, and thus, how these programs control us, through fear, through hope, through energy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand and realize that Desteni could not be a 'cult', as it does not adhere to any definitions of the word, as per Google's dictionary:

"A system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object."
Example: "the cult of St. Olaf"

• There is no religious context, connotations, or theme, there is no deity or divine being to believe in
• there is no veneration or devotion to a particular figure or object. There have been articles written about Bernard Poolman being a 'cult leader', suggested to be the particular figure or object that Desteni is devoted to, who is, I don't know, having sex with everybody and getting them to worship demons and suck his dick or whatever cult leaders do (lol), buuuut:
• The guy is dead. He's been dead for a while, lol. Desteni still exists. And the assumption would be that since it is a 'cult', that it would slowly die off and disappear like all the other cults, as mentioned in some of the articles.... But this group didn't. It's still here. There more people that are a part of Desteni now than before. And actually, soon Desteni will have been around longer WITHOUT him than it has WITH him. Why? How? Because it has nothing to do with venerating or devoting yourself to some figure or person or deity or spirit or object. No one has portraits of Bernard in their room, no one prays to him, no one does any of that.
• For clear examples of cults as it relates to this definition, see any religion, and even more specifically, religions such as Christianity and Buddhism, where the religion is named after the particular figure that there is a system of religious veneration and devotion to, which makes them both 'cults', by definition. But if you want a great example of a cult that fits into the traditional imagery associated with the word 'cult', and/or you don't like Christianity and Buddhism being called cults, first, check yo'self on that reaction and figure out how to get some control of your mind, then, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3ess8txBX0

Then Google has bullet points to specify the usage of the word within the context of the definition above:

• "A relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister."
• Example: "a network of Satan-worshiping cults", "a religious cult"

• Some synonyms: sect, religious group, denomination, religious order, church, faith

• Again, there is no religious context, connotations or theme, no one is performing weird-ass rituals or any kind of ritual, or human sacrifices or animal sacrifices or any kind of sacrifices, or symbols being drawn anywhere out of blood or out of any substances, or whatever other rituals that 'cults' do; no one is worshiping the devil or demons and no one is worshiping anything, and no one is being forced to have sex with one another or have sex with kids or have sex with anyone or anything, and no one is dressing in weird robes and garb and you do not have dress any way, or ANYTHING ELSE YOU COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF that might be happening in a 'cult'. And there also is no "you must believe or have faith in THIS in order to be one of US!", there is nothing to believe in to be part of Desteni.

• "a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing."

• Example:"a cult of personality surrounding the leaders", "the cult of youth and beauty in Hollywood"

• Some synonyms: idolization of, devotion to, worship of, veneration of, reverence for

• Obviously the "particular person or thing" that would be in question is Bernard. If you speak to anybody who is part of Desteni, and follow the sharings of people in Desteni, then you will see that there is by no means any "misplaced or excessive admiration for" Bernard. No one has pictures of him, or tattoos of him, or prayers in his name, or any bullshit like that. No one revers him, no one idolizes him, no one is devoted to praising him, no one sees him as some divine being or god or deity or some spiritually enlightened being or someone that was above humans. And he was clear himself about not being above anyone: "I am not a leader, I am just a man, I am your equal and you are mine."

• "a person or thing that is popular or fashionable, especially among a particular section of society."

• Example: "a cult film", "the series has become a bit of a cult in the UK"

• Some synonyms: craze, fashion, fad, vogue

• I'm sharing this definition for the sake of being thorough, but this definition has to do more so with pop culture. Regardless, just to be clear, Desteni is not some fad that has any reference to some pop media (TV/Film/music, etc.)

That's all, complete!

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to go through the process of thoroughly looking at the word 'cult' and figuring out what it means.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that people aren't afraid of actual cults, as most people are a part of a cult, but they are afraid of dangerous cults, that look a certain way, that conform to the idea of a cult that they have in their mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, and realize, that the word 'cult' is used to brand things as evil so that people stay away from it, which could be used for a good purpose to keep people away from groups that do harm, but in the case of Desteni, there was and is no harm, but just fear that led to the 'cult experts' being called in to brand Desteni as a cult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that spotting a cult is difficult, and requires some sort of expert to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put 'experts' as superior to myself, and seeing them as people who know things that I cannot know.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, and realize how easily the human is manipulated and controlled by words and images.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that TechnoTutor, GIN, and Desteni are not cults, and I am not a part of any cults, and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throw away all the reason and logic and truth based on what is here, and instead follow fear and be manipulated by words and articles online that are designed to generate energy/make money, and NOT designed to communicate truth, based on the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear in my mind of being part of some evil cult when all the evidence shows that there is nothing evil or nothing cult-like about Desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to people suggesting/saying/accusing Desteni of being a cult, because I wasn't clear on what a cult is, and whether or not Desteni is a cult.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand, acknowledge, perceive, comprehend, and know, with FINALITY, that DESTENI IS NOT A CULT, not from a point of belief, but from thorough investigation and discovery.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, understand, and acknowledge that to be "a part of" Desteni, that it does not require you to believe in anything, and that you are considered as "a part of the group" once you are using the tools provided by Desteni to change yourself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, understand, see and acknowledge that Desteni is a set of tools and a group of people using those tools with the starting point of changing oneself to that which is best for every being that exists, which is really, truly, quite a beautiful thing. In this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, understand, realize, and acknowledge that because of the nature of Desteni, and because of the truth in Desteni's message and starting point, people will react to it the same way they reacted to Jesus: killing the one human that stood for what is good in this world, that represented life, that people consider the ideal human being.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate things to a point of clarity and certainty.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate my self to a point of clarity and certainty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fearful of being called a cult member.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful of being thrown in jail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful of being/getting brainwashed, and I wouldn't even know it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to recognize the programmable nature of the human, and that any human who thinks they are not brainwashed, is the most detrimentally brainwashed, as "brainwashed" is just another word for "programmed", and ALL humans are programmed, just like a computer.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize and recognize that every human is brainwashed, therefore I am brainwashed, and so being brainwashed is not a good or bad thing, but one must look at the result of their brainwashing, and the beliefs they have been brainwashed with: is it bringing about a better world, or not, which requires self-honesty.

I commit myself to programming/brainwashing myself in the most effective way possible to bring about the best world through breaking down the brainwashing that is inside of me, and keeping what is good and throwing away what is bad, and washing my brain with new brainwashing, new programs, that are best, to bring about the best world, through writing self-forgiveness every day.

I commit myself to being thorough with my investigations of things and self-investigations to the point of clarity and certainty.

I commit myself to working through and investigating each relationship line I have, to recreate the nature of each relationship line from the starting point of positive energy, neutral energy, and negative energy, to a new starting point of best for all.

I commit myself to becoming equal to Desteni, and living the principles and tools of Desteni, and equalizing myself to that which is Best for All, and in this, showing the world that Desteni is the furthest thing from some evil cult, that Desteni is truly a beautiful set of principles and tools that are the answer, the solution to the pain and suffering that each individual experiences within themselves, and thus manifests that pain and suffering as the world we live in today, and the only way to change that is to change oneself using the tools provided by Desteni and, therefore, change the world.